I discovered tonight a new trait in myself that I never thought was there. I am but an animal, and it seems, I follow my instincts.
We received a call at around 20:30 this evening from the alarm receiving centre warning us that there was something happening on the first floor of the old rickety building we call the office. On closer examination, it seems there were two intruders - in the words of my colleague “of the flying kind”. To be more precise, they were pigeons. I use the term ‘were’ factually.
I have just washed my hands and made a cup of tea as I write this not more than two and a half hours after the initial disturbance.
We assume the ne’er do wells, were trying to get into the stock kept in the warehouse to sell on the black market, and the thieving bastards were caught red winged. Please understand that this is but an assumption. We have no way of questioning the intruders, as we did not have an interpreter available.
My colleague left the scene to retrieve a small, but quite dangerous air pistol. The only problem we had is that this pistol had only seven caps. There were two pigeons, moving targets if you will, and two of us. One of us (Me!) is a bad aim, and the other, my colleague, who didn’t really like firing pistols, didn’t have his weapon of choice available (was a rifle).
Now please understand. Somebody had come along in the day and opened all of the windows in the warehouse, allowing the pigeons to gain access to the building. We had tried to coax them out of there, but they were not budging. Being an animal lover, this is the last possible option - I mean, we could have called pest control, but they would have only shot the pigeons regardless. We couldn’t consider leaving them there otherwise we couldn’t have alarmed the building. As I said before, we really could have used an interpreter.
I don’t want to get into the gory details here, but lets just say that there are two pigeons sitting outside of the building, waiting for any foxes (if you are reading this) to come and claim as dinner. The only other thing I have to say about this, is that only one of the pigeons was shot, and only once - wasting a total of 6 caps.
The job however has been completed, and the killing stops here.